An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Gowns of white trimmed with lace and beads, hair piled to perfection, the violin swelling, carefully crafted vows, diamond rings a crowd leaning in to see the bride….weddings are the stuff of dreams I myself have imagined wedding my groom all over again just so I could try a different dress (smile), who knows probably would pick the same beaded stunner a second time.

Weddings are beautiful occasions, but a Christ exalting marriage is stunning in its radiance.

It’s something the world just can’t quite fathom or wrap their minds around. You want to stand out in this crooked and depraved generation, live in your marriage content and without complaint, and you will shine wondrously. The true wonder isn’t the wedding day it’s the marriage days that stack up on top of each other presenting a testimony about the nature of Christ and His church. Some days we tell truer stories than others, many days we find ourselves repentant on our knees trying to beautify not befuddle the picture God sketched in blood for us.

The story about marriage doesn’t begin with us it began with the eternal plan of God to wed His son to a bride we call the church. Marriage has everything to do with the Gospel it’s the parading beauty that ticks Satan off; it’s the picture the enemy attempts to slash, the picture God set forth to see us restored; He sent His Son for His glory, yes, but also so that He could have us! Have you the faintest clue of how loved you are?

Too many times we start at the wrong place in marriage. We start with thoughts of self and how wonderful and rich our lives are going to be, and with little thought as to how we are going to die to ourselves in order to esteem someone else.

We’re in love but have forgotten what it means give love, to die to self.

It’s so hard to die. It’s so unnatural to the flesh. If we’re in Jesus we have for ourselves more than enough hope, because the Holy Spirit is willing and able to provide for us all we need to resist the pulls of our flesh and go the fruit ladened way of Christ. Our marriages display ripe, sweet fruit when we practice dying to self and live in a gracious way with our own husbands.

The question I am asking us this week is what would it look like for you to crown your husband? What would it be like to be a stunningly beautiful godly wife to him this week? How could we die to ourselves and consider him better than ourselves without heaping expectations on him in return? My husband is pure gold. He loves Jesus, but I am under no illusions that all of us are in the exact same situation, so I ask, regardless of situation…. What if we got nothing out of this? What if the only gain was obedience to your Heavenly Father, would you still take this challenge? Would you still be a crown believing the truth that you were created for a blessing? 

I know some of you simply gorgeous, Jesus seeking single women are reading, perhaps longing for an opportunity to live this out…. Now is your time to train. Right now. All that you do to keep your home now, the way you speak now, how you live with your roommate now? All is a training ground for then. If you eat the bread of idleness now, you will eat it then. If you don’t open up your hands to the poor now, you won’t do it then. If you don’t speak with the teaching of kindness now, you won’t do it then. Who you are now is who you will be the moment after you say I do. Forever we will be repenting and growing and changing, but the thing is NOW is the time to go with your God, to let Him mold you into an excellent wife.

All of us, wife or not are in our Father’s hands, He is sanding away at us. Yeah, he knows we’re rough around the edges. And He loves us still. Maybe we could love our husbands like He loves us a while? Maybe love and kindness and gentleness is what changes something, even a marriage? Maybe we need to believe the promises of God enough to act on them.