It was a long, sweet, and hard summer. I’ve been missing writing to you here at Smiles of Grace, but putting pen to paper so to speak was physically challenging this summer. Thankfully, the tide has turned and I’m feeling somewhat better. So, I hope to join you a lot here in this space. I hope you’ll lend me your ear again, and I will do my best to not go MIA any time soon (warm smile). Perhaps this post could be described as a pondering, more than a cohesive thought, it’s a run-on sentence of all my summer time thoughts coming together. Y’all are such a gracious group, I thought you deserved to know where this is all going (smile).

The older I get the more reality sets in, not enough to squash my hope and certainly not enough to wash away my relentless idealistic bent, but just enough to silence all imaginings that any perfection resides here on this side of heaven. Unconstitutional rulings reshape the face of the family in culture. Babies are ripped apart from limb to limb with barely a headline and most do nothing to fight this. My heart writhes with anguish and anger lights my soul. Christians are beaten, chased from their homes, and American Christians? Do we share the Gospel, pray, or sacrifice much of anything at all it seems in the face of this gross evil? Questions I ask of myself.

I sit in bed and pray Daniel prayers as we face Daniel realities. I read too many articles. There’s only despair written there. The Gospel is what we need, the fourth man in the furnace. The One who saves us from this hell on earth, the coming one, the Son of Man, the Son of God, Jesus. Yes a little reflection cures any false notions, in the midst of our fancy restaurants and beach vacations, this world is anything but broken. Yet there are blessings here too, even happiness, even joy in pain.

There’s this slow unfolding of sanctification in the life. Sometimes God forces a pause to make you sit silently and still leading you into prayer, into dependence, into the depths of joy. Joy isn’t just on the surface when balloons are flying and songs fill the air full with the happy laughter of 10 or more bellies, joy is deep. It is in the moments the ultrasound blinks empty, and there is no heartbeat. Joy is in the times you sing truth from your soul, the truths that are hard to sing and you believe them.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Joy is in the waves of nausea rolling over the newly expectant mother. Joy is in the meal you didn’t want to cook and the gentle voice you did not want to use while repeating the same instruction you didn’t want to say again for the 100th time. Joy is in the dance in the eyes of your child. It’s in the silly smile of your firstborn. It’s in the familiar embrace of your own husband. It’s in the wings of the hummingbird feeding sweetly on your deck.

There’s an ache in this world and it runs deep and into the very creation. There is this groaning. The children of God groan for the Savior to be revealed and the creation echoes their cry. There’s joy in the world too.

The Spirit of God at work in our souls, the slow unveiling of us, of what we will be when He is at last finished. This is joy. The family together reading His Word, witness to the lights coming on in little hearts, watching the Spirit woo and call your own children to Himself. There’s joy a plenty. And I breathe a deep sigh, “Through many dangers, toils, and snares I have already come… But grace has brought me safe thus far…” Hasn’t He been faithful? Isn’t He forever good? Around the next bend, He will pour the light of His Word there too. In every new season, His grace always falling softly on us. He captures our tired, aching, wondering hearts and His truth sets us free. Yes, Grace has brought us safe thus far and Jesus’ unyielding grace will lead us home.