Regina 
The Lord has this way of taking us by the hand and leading us to places. How did I end up here? Getting this wild and wonderful privilege of inviting you to memorize the gorgeous passage of Psalm 19 with my children & me? I want to give you just one small glimpse into why I am here leading us on this sweet journey into, literally, the best thing I’ve ever tasted and seen in my whole life.
First how about a confession, I haven’t figured everything out yet. I know, I know, not surprising, but I am telling you this because of the human tendency to think more of people than we ought to think. Please, give me the grace to step off of the proverbial platform, so we can all learn to stand on Christ together. In His utter kindness the Lord has offered me discipleship from the godliest of women and He has given me discipline for the purpose of godliness. If that weren’t enough, He has given me a husband who leads us to Christ in His Word and shepherds our family with unusual excellence. I simply cannot overlook or overstate the abundance of His poured out grace, but at the exact same time… I blow it some days in parenting, like for the entire day. Yep. Like, crawl back into bed and start it all over. You know the kind of day I’m talking about. I’m just like you. I’ve spent too much time thinking and mulling over what others think instead of walking paths of faith which are paths of favor and freedom. I fumble and fail. I get on my knees and cry streams of water, because I cannot keep God’s Word perfectly. I remember the Gospel and land on soft mercies, so thankful that the Lord KNOWS me. So amazed that He has paved a way that I may KNOW Him. That’s why I am here. Some 26 years ago our Good Father chased me down, revealed His Son Jesus Christ to me. I heard that good testimony that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and ROSE AGAIN. That life became my life at 9, so let’s start there.
I lived as a child in a home of abuse. I do not often write so frankly, but today it is important to me to remain intentionally (mostly) plain in speech so that no ounce of my meaning is lost here. You have rarely met someone who has seen and lived through more brokenness than I have in the 18 years that comprised my childhood. To say that my mind was riddled with fear and anxiety is, perhaps, a mild assessment. When a child fears for the life of one of her parents there can be no greater horror nor any more helpless a state. The power of that snare weaved through my mind, like a butterfly caught helplessly in the stickiness of a web, a mess of certain ruin, that would have been the most likely outcome for my life. Yet, God has this way about Him that endears Him to the broken, the forgotten, the poverty-stricken, the downcast ones of this world. He lifted me up out of a pit. Oh, how He SAVED us, but that’s another story for another day.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:2-3 (emphasis mine & such is my prayer)
The Lord in His sovereign grace also painted my skin brown. I remember it dawning on me that my skin was different from the majority in my single digit years of childhood. Writing it now makes me wonder if there’s ever an awakening to one’s skin color for those with lovely “peach” skin as my children call it. I grew up the only dark-skinned girl around as far as I could see, even now that is often the case. Circles and circles of white faces (and I love them to be clear). I grew up in the white evangelical church, all welcoming, all kind, indebted to so many gracious women of God who unknowingly filled the role of spiritual mother to me. At 24 I would wed the most handsome blonde haired, blue eyed, “peach” man you’ve ever seen. Ironically, growing up I would imagine my own hair yellow. I thought in my elementary mind that white skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair were the measure of beauty. Indeed, they are not. Beauty does not emerge from faces but from hearts. Not only that, but beauty rests as much on brown skin as it does any other hue. In circles of whiteness, I sometimes felt like an outsider. In circles of family this played out in an unfortunate and rather painful manner. I always wondered if I would be more accepted if I simply looked different. I suppose we have all wondered the same. Hair coloring, make-up, and the like are sure evidence of our pondering, all fine and well. I have no intentions of going gray myself. In terms of God-given race, it is sin in this culture that often encourages such foolish musings in image bearers. In my life there was a significant rejection on the basis of race without sincere apology. This left me to some wrestling with forgiveness. The firm push from a fellow believer that I not be brought fully into their fold, left me with that temptation to bitterness that plagues this world so. There is always a way out of these things though. There is a Word far stronger than the foolishness of man and a way of escape out of every sin.
He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Psalm 107:20
I’ve experienced the deepest of horrors in childhood, the most painful rejections from family on matters of race and in my adulthood betrayal by close friends. Chris & I have walked through hard valleys of loss and questioning, a season where we conceived twice and lost both babies mere months apart. In every circumstance, be it small or great, God sent HIS Word and healed me and saved me from my destructions. A full 17 years into memorizing passages of Scripture, and I still have as much NEED for this WORD as you do. Teachers will be judged with stricter judgment, so it is critical and my utmost desire to, over the course of time, paint an accurate picture of my weaknesses, failures, sins, so you have a clear picture of WHY I am just so passionate about this pursuit. Why I LOVE this WORD and the God who gave it. I do not come to you from a position of perfection, for there is none of that present in my life. I come to you as a SISTER who has been with the One who breathes out a Word as alive today as it was the day He spoke it. I beginning to know the ONE who inspired this truth. The only ONE who is perfect, holy, good, altogether captivating, and HE is my Savior and He speaks. So, I trace the Words He gave with my heart. I want to teach you and yours to do the same.
Here is my WHY.
Every single thing that has ever beset me, every sin, every weakness, every rejection, every horror, every sting finds its CURE in this WORD. Your cure lies here too. We need pastors and teachers and biblical counselors, lots of mentors, and, Lord willing, a few spiritual mothers in our lives, but at the end of the day, at the end of all things Christ’s WORD remains and His WORD is the means by which HE purifies and heals. I have lived this grace, and I have a prayer for every single one of us and every single one of our children to live this grace too. This is the POINT. This is WHY I am asking you to Memorize With Me.
I bow down toward your holy temple and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. Psalm 138:2 (emphasis mine)
