Regina 
In our family discipleship often occurs around a table and some bread or some delicious pastry or some delightful grilled chicken. It can seem impossible to add elements of meaningful conversation during what is often a chaotic time of day. Today I’m going to offer you a few, take it or leave it type thoughts concerning what has worked well for us. Note, I did not say works perfectly, I said, well. Kids are kids and sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason to the madness, but we can tame our circumstances a bit if you will.
Breakfast time.
This is by far our most relaxed meal. Everyone clamors down after Bible reading and fills up the stools at our breakfast spot and waits while I cut apples, pour cereal, or sometimes pull out some steaming muffins at the start of the day. If you have to understand, that for me, baking is like sweet therapy, a small victory in mountain of repeated events, and I love the joy it brings my family. Jammies are still on. There’s a bit of boundless enthusiasm, some delight that seizes their hearts or sometimes sleepy-eyed faces staring back at me, in which case patience might run short and tempers easily come. Sometimes Chris joins us for breakfast, other times work has already beckoned him out the door. Either way, breakfast sets the tone for our day. I wear my idealism on my sleeve. Glass half-full girl is writing here, but do not misunderstand our home is just as basic as the rest. Morning breath, grumpy attitudes come, but we settle them at the start if we can. You know what I mean? It is at this time that I remind my young children of the attitudes we want to carry, what chores might need tending to (particularly if it’s a Monday or Tuesday), and what the general plan is for the day. We all dearly love a schedule around here, anyone else? It just tends to bring a level of calm and expectation to our hearts and minds that is quite welcome. However, you roll I think everyone can grab the minutes breakfast affords to do something to set your mind and the minds of your children on the things of God. One of the reasons older children lack understanding of how to live for Christ in the day to day, minute to minute type of way is, perhaps, because we don’t quite get it ourselves, or if you’re like me you’ve never seen any model of it in real life to begin with. If we take breakfast to purposefully pray, and if you’re in public schools, perhaps, memorize Scripture right then and there, we might find that we’ve seized a precious opportunity to demonstrate to our children that Jesus is the One we are serving each day from beginning to end. If you homeschool perhaps you’ll memorize Scripture with them right at the start of your school in a dedicated discipleship time. Whatever you choose to do, pick what fits the rhythm of your family, but do not neglect the morning hours because you think yourself too busy. This is almost never true. We might get up too late and feel rushed and hurried because of it, but time is never really lacking. We just may not know yet how to use it best. The humble are able to learn how, because the Lord is a very kind and patient teacher. The truths of His Word instruct each one of us in the daily details.
*Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin Recipe is detailed at the end.*
Lunch.
There are so many wonderful options in terms of educating our children, and we all know that the Lord knows best what our individual families need. If your children are in public or private school and enjoy a packed lunch on occasion this is a time you can fill their lunch box with specific Scriptures or particular ways you know they need encouraging throughout the school day. Maybe you could include a lunch time prayer and verse for them to enjoy; if they’re outgoing they perhaps could share this with their friends? The goal here is intentional living; redeeming time that would otherwise be lost. Just because you’re not there during weekday lunches doesn’t mean you can’t disciple in some small way. Don’t let the cheesiness of the idea scare you off either. We must be determinedly intentional about grabbing hold of the hearts of our children for Christ. Don’t you believe that this is the very reason the Father entrusted them to you? On the weekends you might consider doing what I’m about to encourage homeschooling moms to do on the daily.
We are a homeschooling family, four years deep into the joy and beauty of educating our children in the context of home. For us, lunch is a special time to study theology, not every single solitary day, but most. I want my children to have a good grasp of the fact that the Lord is in every single thing with us and can be exalted in all that we do. It is important to Chris & I that they not only memorize truths about God and His Word, but also have time to talk through various aspects of Who He really is. In order for this to happen in any authentic way we must be resolved in our personal pursuit of knowing Christ more. We must put aside distraction and focus. We need to train ourselves to be disciplined and give our kids that gift. Now, to be clear, every meal time isn’t serious. You have to understand we can joke with the best of them, laughter fills this place so full so often, and we have a tremendous amount of plain fun. Here’s the thing, our God is the author of happiness, we enjoy each other and talk about many things, but we grab a few minutes during meal time to give to Him and to delight in Him. Every single thing we enjoy, laugh about, all that we think is fun, as long as it is pure and good and right, is a gift from Him. Don’t miss the fact that He is in everything. He really actually is omnipresent.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17
Dinner.
Dinner time is a special time for us. The table is set, cloth napkins are laid out, glasses are filled with water, and the accompanying silverware gathered to each place setting. All of these tasks are accomplished by our young children.
Sometimes they spill the water, sneak the food, and forget their manners, but these mundane tasks are giving them a lost discipline, the ability to delight in the mundane, to actually enjoy repeated tasks.
It also helps to create a sweet atmosphere for dinner. If time does not permit this usual happening paper plates are grabbed and some white paper napkins. We do not let lack of length of time dictate what we do with the time we do have. Seize it. Let’s all be honest here this one might be the hardest. To gather everyone up when there are sports, ballet, academic activities, musical pursuits, might seem like an impossibility, BUT there is something that true for all of us reading. In general, you are going to eat, so why not put some thought and effort into it? Why not ask your own husband how you can make the most of this family time together? Are activities overextending you to the point that there are no family dinner times remaining during the week? Maybe your family is good with that, but I doubt there’s a single reader who wouldn’t enjoy more focused family time. How can you create that even if dinner is on the go? Our family aims to have no less than three meals Monday — Friday at home together as a family, which means at least 5 out 7 evenings find us around the dining table. With the exception of a few summer camps and other activities, summer days that bumps up to a full seven. Your family dinner times may be more or less during the school year. This is not a matter of comparison, the point here is to be little jealous for this time together and when it happens make it count.
By dinner time everyone is typically tired and a little bit rowdy. It use to happen that the kids would begin to nibble on their food and be nearly done by the time Chris and I were sitting and ready to eat. After observing this for a bit, I decided this wasn’t going to result in the kind of dinner Chris & I were hoping for. It was Chris’ idea to lead family Bible time just after dinner around the table with our family prayer time and other reading happening just before bed. We realized that if we established this dinner situation while our kids were young, even if we were busy, Lord willing, when they get older we will already have a rhythm in our family that lends itself to discipleship and discussion versus trying to create culture all at once when we get to the years of preteen and teen children. So this is what we do, listen, it may or may not work for your family. Chris gets home in time to enjoy dinner with us regularly, and if he did not, be sure, we would create another way we could daily be in God’s Word together. To me, this is a do whatever it takes type of thing. It is not a wait and see or next year maybe it’ll be different type thing. You cannot begin the task of discipling your children too early.
- Chris & I are served dinner first. Why? You know why, right?! Because we don’t want the kids to finish before we even begin. The former creates a mild form of insanity (laughing smile). You know it, and I know it. Serving ourselves first helps.
- We always keep the same routine. The kids are not surprised when daddy pulls out the Bible or the Bible on his phone, whichever is on hand. They do not protest because it is our pattern, and they enjoy it. Sometimes it looks like they aren’t even paying attention. They are wiggling and squirming, staring into space, drooling (JUST KIDDING), you know, doing what kids do, but you know what we’ve come to find. Even when a kid looks and appears spacey that’s just what kids look like AND they ARE learning. For real. Whatever you choose to do, always do it. Family Bible time shouldn’t be rare; it should be regular.
- Meal time is just for chatting through our days or whatever might be on our minds. We are not quizzing our kids while they eat. That would be weird. We save this Bible time for right after meal.
- Create an enjoyable atmosphere. If you want to try dinner time Bible study maybe make a dessert on occasion (not all the time so that it’s expected) but sometimes so the kids associate this time with pleasantness. This is discipline is not drudgery, it is our joy.
- Let your husband lead. Do not tell him you have to… because you read some blog (like this one) or some book and liked it. Ask him what he desires for your family. If he would like your help give it gladly, but whatever you do, do not take over. Homes were designed to have a leader and your own husband is the proper fit.
These suggestions might give you the upper hand in going after this incredible pursuit of creating a culture of discipleship in your home. I hope there’s some good here that encourages you. We are not a perfect family. I snap at the kids sometimes; they snap at me. We pray and repent and get on with it. You know? Some days everything works smoothly. Other days it’s a circus; I like to think we have THE GREATEST SHOW when it comes to that (winking smile). We are young parents. We are first generation in the home disciplers of our children. We didn’t see a model for this. You can come from a godly family who loves Jesus and never see that fleshed out on the day to day, you know? We have had incredible mentors and teachers you’ve taught us the ropes. At the end of the day, this is what is working for us. If it helps you take it, if not leave it, but do not leave the happy task of teaching your own children exactly how they should follow Christ. That is a regret you do not want to live with.
If you would like to add the beautiful discipline of memorizing Scripture as a family to your lives together, our family has created a resource that just might help you. You can check out week 1 below. The recipe for the BEST EVER banana chocolate chip muffins listed right after.
