Sometimes you just feel like a snot wiper, sick baby sleeper, like all your days have amounted to nothing more than meal planning, toliet scrubbing, trying to defeat an ever growing mound of laundry in an eternal war you will not win (smile).  It can feel like there’s not much deep purpose in your life, like all your days are joining up like a bunch of Thomas the train cars that will soon be dismantled by little hands. What are you accomplishing anyway? Does sweeping the floor again glorify God? Changing yet another poopy diaper and feeding the birds with mouths open wide morning, noon, and night, and a thousand in between. They will always be hungry, that’s what no one tells you when you become a mother (smile). They will always be taking pieces of you, draining you of everything. They will hunger for your love, your affection, every second of your time, every ounce of your energy…you will smile at it all and grimace intermittently.  But if you haven’t learned that the life poured out is the best lived life you will come to resent all their hunger after you, all their neediness, all their beckoning, “Mommy! Mommy!”

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me. Philippians 2:14-18

The Apostle Paul poured His life out for Christ’s church, for God’s people and received a life laced with joy and difficultyand he rejoiced in that. Moms don’t oversee churches, but we do oversee the generations, don’t we? We are raising little children the Lord wishes not to be hindered from coming to Him. Couldn’t we pour out ourselves like a drink offering over the generations entrusted to us, over darling curly haired kids whom Jesus desires to know and love Him?

This life, this poured out life really is the best lived life. You gain your life when you lose it for the love of Jesus and His people. You lose your life trying to keep it. Trying to keep everything in the house just so, trying to get a shower everyday (laughing smile), trying to grab a spare 5 minutes to yourself. It is not that those things wrong, of course not. But when we are living life trying to keep our lives, our bodies, our homes as if they were unaffected by children, that is not the way. Yeah, we should clean, and yes I still decorate and work out, but when I go at it in a manner of spirit that is really just trying to keep my life for myself, I lose it. And my husband and my children, we all lose, but there is another way.

There is the way to gain life. There is a way we can learn to live as Christ. Our Savior’s ultimate expression of love consummated in blood and water pouring from His side. He poured out His life. He gave it up. He did so to do the will of His Father and to gain a Kingdom. We can imitate the expression of His love for us in our mommyhood. We can give up that which we hold dear…sleep, material goods, lots of time alone and gain something precious, a poured out life…. And our sacrifice is not comparable to our Savior’s. It is always ladled up with our deep imperfections, always messy its expression, but we can imitate Jesus in this way. We can stop trying to keep our lives, our homes, our bodies as if we never had children. Do you hear what I am trying to say? We can pour it out for them. We can show them the greatest expression of love and a glimmer of the Gospel when we pour ourselves out not because of obligation or in resentment, but steeped in humility we can learn to serve our husbands and our children with the love of Christ.

 There is nothing to cry over when you spill out your life this beautifully.