Dear Mom,

We all struggle. It’s true! I crowd around tables with women peer into faces, and I see the question pressing behind their eyes…the one that never seems brave enough to leave their lips…do you struggle too? It’s the thought lingering in the mind of the new mom getting peed on every other diaper change. The very same question that haunts the mom juggling two little ones… trying to figure out how to make the two year old stop screaming gracefully while leaving the store with bags in hand while looking cute after, of course, she got up super early, had an ideal (whatever yours is) homemade breakfast in which everyone sat down and ate quietly and in peace…hahahaha… Because what I just described is laughable and even if you can do that some days…it’s just a whole lot of GRACE; don’t let it go to your head, because tomorrow you are going to have that girl’s day and you’re going to wish you had dealt out some humility and mercy instead of the haughty glance and the murmur to self about how you will avoid all such debacles. Just know now, you won’t avoid them; you won’t. And if you do it’s GRACE, not you…not me.

Because we all struggle. We’re needy for approval…wondering what other people are thinking of us. Wondering if we’re doing all the right things…coming across the right way. Curious whether we are reading the right books and up on the latest health trends… And how in the world are we going to get our home, bodies, wardrobes, kid’s crafts pinterest perfect and have our quiet time everyday. And what if everything we do isn’t good enough, isn’t exciting enough…and can anyone tell we don’t really know what we’re doing anyway? We’re just pretending like everyone else. That fearful question lingering in our minds…plaguing our days, and you there, reading this grammatically imperfect letter…you’re wondering does that girl really know what it means to struggle…with all those pictures and all those words…And she’s going to memorize the Bible all year long? What?! And the smell of burnt toast just hit your nose and you roll your eyes and get ready to click on to the next thing, but wait…. Yeah, it’s true I am going to memorize Scripture all year, but friend that’s not because I have it all together…it’s because I’m super needy and fall apart without Jesus’ grace. You know….

1. I see you there hiding in the bathroom shedding precious tears wondering how you’re going to make it through the entire day and have activities to spare for your littles who won’t stop touching you…it’s only 10am. Yeah, I know all about it.

2. I see you new mom trying to figure out how to make that baby sleep. All those books got it wrong, but you’re thinking there’s just something wrong with you and you’re not going to be a good mom after all, just like you feared. Yeah, I’ve got this 11 month old and no he does not sleep through the night. 

3. I see you trying to figure out how to fit everything in. You want to be disciplined, but it’s just so hard and you don’t know how.

4. I see you there clicking frantically on the latest trending article trying to grab just a little encouragement to make it through your day. Trying to feel better, more rested somehow? We need some SLEEP (big smile)!

5. I see you trying to lose those last nagging pounds of baby weight…it’s still baby weight 2 years later right? (YES, it is, smile).

6. I see you trying to decorate your house and not break the bank. Why is it that everything on pinterest white and well perfect? Children canNOT live there, right? Yeah, yeah I know I have some white furniture. Make this promise, if you stop by, don’t look too close (smile)…

7. I see you there, sweet mom, whose baby won’t eat ‘real food’ yet…and will they ever eat and will they always only nurse?!

8. I see you trying to figure out how to raise your kids to love Jesus …trying to wrestle out how to teach them and train them up…how to help them see that Jesus really is better than life. Struggling to believe in the depths that truth yourself…

9. I see you trying to decide how to prioritize your marriage when laundry, rocking babies, mopping, sweeping are never done….an endless barrage of cheerios creeping out of every nook and cranny of your space. It’s a full out invasion, and there’s this pretty cute guy sitting over there you’d like to get to know again…but when?

10. I’ve been there in the Emergency Room awaiting test results to see if your baby is going to be ok. Those waits that drag on into what feels like forever… Yeah, I know all about that! And I know some of you didn’t get to walk away with a healthy baby in tow, and I am so sorry….

11. I see you there comparing yourself to other mommies…to mommies you think have it more together than you…

I see you, because I’ve been there too, and I just wanted to ask us all…. Could we stop trying so hard at…hmmm…everything (shy smile)? Maybe, just maybe could it be that we are just supposed to be whatever God tells us, calls us to be? What if we weren’t so needy to please and impress each other, what if we just pressed ourselves into the presence of our God…He’s already so very near anyway.

What if we got our eyes off of each other, and everybody just nodded a happy sigh of relief, because we can all admit that we struggle… Maybe not in the very exact precise same way, but we struggle nonetheless. And this life isn’t so much about being perfect at everything because we’re not perfect at anything….this life is about Jesus. And He is perfect. When your life is all caught up in His, then you can really live. And it’s kind of relieving to focus on Him; you get more secure that way too. So Moms…girls…friends? Yeah, we all struggle…I struggle too.

The question we ought to ask is just what are we going to do with that? Will the struggle end in despair, discouragement… Or will it end in security, in some G0d-given victory? Or are we going to show this world, this seeking culture pressing in all around us that Jesus really doesn’t make any difference after all…that He can’t really change us in ways that matter…? Are we going to perpetuate the lie that struggles end defeat…or are we going to live truth?! I’m smiling at you…I’m smiling at me, because… I am just radical enough to believe struggle doesn’t end in defeat…it ends in GLORY. Our kids aren’t trials…they are gifts, but the Lord is using them to bring about some real spiritual growth, so we can say this in our mommyhood…

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison… 2Corinthians 4:17

His Word really is true…

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. Psalm 16